Swinging a Cactus

I posted this pic some years back, but it’s time again.

Alabama lost to Texas A&M on Saturday night. A&M played a great game, and somehow or other Cam Newton has managed to be reincarnated as Johnny Football without even dying first.

I wasn’t angry during the game – the occasional outburst happened, but such incidents were quickly dealt with by prayer and reflection. The main content of such outbursts was a vigorous wondering of WHY AREN’T WE RUNNING THE BALL?

But I have found that I’ve sort of lost interest since the game. In most things.

Maybe it’s my depression returning, although I’m not noticing it during the day; only in the evenings, when suddenly I see that I have nothing to do. So I find something to do. But the doing of whatever that is lacks gumption; it lacks oomph.

I wonder about the anger because I’ve heard that “depression is unexpressed anger”. I don’t know if I believe that, though – anger involves adrenaline, and I don’t feel adrenalized : )

It FEELS like maybe I got angry during the game and didn’t realize it, and have been suffering from an emotional hangover ever since. It doesn’t SEEM like that; my memory is of being reasonably calm and level-headed.

For some time, though, it hasn’t been fun to be an Alabama fan on game days. There has been a fear of losing, rather than a hope of winning, that has taken the gusto out of Saturday evenings. However, losing did not put the gusto back in : )


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