Sugar Frosted Cheeze-Its

Yesterday’s lunch was Sugar Frosted Flakes and Cheeze-Its.

See, we Pucketts indulge in ritual cannibalism – we eat the mojo of the opposing team. And yesterday was the Iron Bowl – the annual Alabama/Auburn game.

Auburn’s team is the Tigers, although their war cry is “War Eagle!” and they are called the Plainsmen, so things are a mite confused down Opelika way. However, it’s against the law to eat tiger meat, and eagles are right out, so a substitution has to be found.

Well, Sugar Frosted Flakes are associated with Tony the Tiger (“”They’re grrrrrrEAT!”) and we eat Cheeze-Its because they are Auburn’s shade of orange, and the Auburn coach is named Chizik.

Or, rather, their coach was named Chizik, because after yesterday’s 49-0 score, Auburn currently has no coach, and Gene Chizik has no job.

I reckon I should feel some pity for Coach Chizik, but I can’t work up a whole lot. I mean, I’m sure that he feels bad right now, and I empathize with that – I certainly understand how failure and shame feel. But the man made more money in the last three years that most people make in their lifetimes – several times over. And there’s a buyout of his contract – no doubt legal games will be played out around that, but he’ll still make more money for NOT being the coach of the Auburn Tigers than I will make for working full time for the rest of my career.

And, during his short career at Auburn University, Gene Chizik won a national championship. It now seems unbelievable, but it happened. That is a very, very exclusive fraternity. Let’s see:

  • Nick Saban
  • Urban Meyer
  • Les Miles
  • Bob Stoops
  • Steve Spurrier
  • Mack Brown

…yep, that’s the list of currently active head coaches who have won a national championship. So, no, I don’t feel too sorry for Coach Chizik.

And anyone who takes a head coaching job in the Southeastern Conference has to know what he’s getting into. It is an incredibly competitive, high-stress career choice, and every move and utterance will be analyzed by the press, the public, and Paul Finebaum. Thin-skinned folks should not even consider it.

So now Auburn will look for a new coach while we get ready for the SEC Championship Game – we’re playing Georgia next Saturday in Atlanta. And the winner of that game will play Notre Dame for the national championship in January.

We did our part. We ate cheeze-its and sugar frosted flakes.

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