Fat Feet

Here’s one of the new plants we’ve put out as part of spring planting – a pygmy palm.


If you look under the pygmy, you’ll see a couple of short palms, one of which (the one obscured behind the pygmy palm)  may not make it – these are our Sago palm trees. Yes, I know, they are awfully short for palm trees. Sago palms grow about one inch per year. And these palms got hurt pretty badly this winter, so they may be through growing.

N.B. – “I inch per year” is 2.54 times as fast as the North American continent is moving west. So, in plate tectonic terms, those Sago palms are hoofin’ it.

Speaking of “hoofin'”, you might have expected, given the title of the post, to see my fat feet. But I’m not about to do that to you. My feet aren’t just guy feet, they are running guy feet. Toenails a quarter inch thick. A terrible sight for a sober man.

And they are not as fat this afternoon as they were this morning.

I just started taking a new ADD med (you didn’t know I had ADD? SQUIRREL!) that has Guaifenecin in it – never trust a medication with that many vowels. This stuff is also a med for hypertension – well, okay, I have that too.

But my high blood pressure –

Backstory: in the summer of 1999, I was in possibly the best shape of my life. I was running some 60-70 mile weeks, at elevation, and I was running those miles faster than I’d ever run before. My body fat was negative, and I think my hair was growing back in. I was DOWN, dude!

Then I saw the doctor, and he said “High blood pressure – 155/122”. Huh? My blood pressure had always been low- how could it be high? And how could it be THAT high, THAT, quickly?

Doc said “Genetic”. Yep. My genetic makeup had decided that it was time for me to die, and let younger bulls impregnate the herd. My chromosomes wouldn’t listen when I told them that I wasn’t going to try to impregnate the herd, that Ethel would certainly frown on my impregnating the herd – my chromosomes didn’t care about my intentions, only about my potentials.

The doc said “Lisinopril”, and within a couple of days, my blood pressure was back down to 110/70, and it’s been there ever since.

– was being controlled just fine by Lisinopril, and when I started taking the ADD med as well, suddenly I was getting light-headed when I would stand up. So I stopped taking the Lisinopril.

Well, the last two days, I’ve gained weight. Now, that’s not surprising; I always gain weight when I come back down from the mountains. But it usually caps out in the high 170s, and I’ve gained a bit more these last two days.

And yesterday, I looked at my feet, and didn’t see any veins.

Hands, too. Chubby as the day is long.

So I took out the ADD med and put back the Lisinopril As of this afternoon, I have veins again. Things aren’t back to normal yet, but I have faith.

And, it’s not like the ADD med is that impor-SQUIRREL!


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