Forecast for Salt Lake City.
Average June highs for SLC are supposed to be in the 80s, but it’s been like this for a while. Ethel is loving it. Now, it’s not shadenfraude, because she’s not reveling in others’ misery, but it’s related to shadenfraude, because she is reveling in the conditions that are causing others misery.
I’m ready to try one of those long-distance marriages where you call each other every evening and share about your day – she can be in a blast furnace, enjoying watching her skin peel off, and I’ll be in northern British Columbia. Somewhere around Liard Hot Springs, where the springs are the only thing that is hot.
But I’d probably miss her.
It’s bad enough driving down into this awfulness every day, but we’re actually moving down here. Again, I thought that highs would be in the 80s. They obviously aren’t. It does no good to say “well, it used to be like that”. I used to have hair. I used to be thin and fast. My hair and thinness and fastness are not going to get any better, and I see no reason to believe that the forecast will, either.
At my first trip to SLC, in 1995, I was talking with Doug, a fellow Alabamian, who said “The winters are awful, but the summers are glorious”. Doug was not a skier, so to him “snow on the ground” equals “awful”. To me, “snow on the ground” equals “bliss”. But he was correct – the summers were glorious. For a fellow who had lived in Alabama, Texas and Arizona, June highs of 88 with no humidity felt like paradise.
This winter there was no snow, and now – well, there’s this.
Full disclosure – in Phoenix, you don’t see the yellow sun/red sky forecast picture unless the forecast temp is 110 F or above. So, in that respect, this isn’t as “bad” as Phoenix. But, then, having your wrists cut open with a steak knife isn’t as “bad” as having your intestines ripped out with a rusty hook, but that doesn’t make it any more pleasant.
I’m pretty tired, and worn out from training and everything that the move has been requiring. So maybe I’m overreacting.
But I really thought that we were done with this.