I’m Not John Cleese

Here’s John Cleese in the movie Rat Race:


Note the prominent upper teeth.

Yesterday I spent almost four hours in the chair at Bozeman Dental, getting a set of temporary crowns across my upper teeth. Ever since, I’ve felt like John Cleese:


I know that it doesn’t LOOK the same, but it FEELS like that.

I’ve been grinding my teeth for many years (heck, probably ever since Ethel brought Lucy home. Having that dog in the house causes me a lot of stress) such that I’d worn down my upper choppers to a considerable degree, so the dentist decided that I had too much money, and arranged for me to get this new dentition.

These are just the temporaries, as the new crowns will come in in a few weeks. But they will be the same size as these temporaries, which to me feels like…well, like John Cleese looks, above.

It’s possible that the feeling is exaggerated somewhat because of the soreness – it also feels like they numbed me up pretty good, then punched me in the face for four hours.

Chewing feels weird, as my teeth come together much too quickly. I have to admit – I’m worried that I might snap these temporary crowns because, when I bite down, my teeth are through biting down before my jaw has finished. It still thinks that it has another half-inch or so of biting down to do.

I’m wondering what effects this might have on the rest of my life – for instance, will the extra weight from the extra enamel slow me down in races? With the new brightness from my smile propel me into a public life, possibly running for office or making toothpaste commercials?

The staff at Bozeman Dental kept remarking on how good the change looked; I kept trying to explain that I’m 56 years old, so it doesn’t matter what my face looks like.

I reckon I’ll keep ’em, though. Who knows? Maybe Monty Python will have an opening.

1 comment
  1. aileen58 said:

    Rob’s just been to the dentist last week. My NEW very good dentist. He took one look at his mouth and said – you grind your teeth at night don’t you! If you don’t sort this out you will have a plate in 5 years! So Rob resurrected his mouth guard from the bedside drawer and discovered it no longer fits. So next Monday he’s off for two fillings a root canal, a crown and a new mouth guard. Then its two implants because the dentist says there is too much stress on the remaining teeth without getting the gaps filled with – teeth! Anyway I’m glad I made him change dentists. My old one was his as well and as soon as I changed dentists I realised how slack he’d been.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: