Here’s John Cleese in the movie Rat Race:
Note the prominent upper teeth.
Yesterday I spent almost four hours in the chair at Bozeman Dental, getting a set of temporary crowns across my upper teeth. Ever since, I’ve felt like John Cleese:
I know that it doesn’t LOOK the same, but it FEELS like that.
I’ve been grinding my teeth for many years (heck, probably ever since Ethel brought Lucy home. Having that dog in the house causes me a lot of stress) such that I’d worn down my upper choppers to a considerable degree, so the dentist decided that I had too much money, and arranged for me to get this new dentition.
These are just the temporaries, as the new crowns will come in in a few weeks. But they will be the same size as these temporaries, which to me feels like…well, like John Cleese looks, above.
It’s possible that the feeling is exaggerated somewhat because of the soreness – it also feels like they numbed me up pretty good, then punched me in the face for four hours.
Chewing feels weird, as my teeth come together much too quickly. I have to admit – I’m worried that I might snap these temporary crowns because, when I bite down, my teeth are through biting down before my jaw has finished. It still thinks that it has another half-inch or so of biting down to do.
I’m wondering what effects this might have on the rest of my life – for instance, will the extra weight from the extra enamel slow me down in races? With the new brightness from my smile propel me into a public life, possibly running for office or making toothpaste commercials?
The staff at Bozeman Dental kept remarking on how good the change looked; I kept trying to explain that I’m 56 years old, so it doesn’t matter what my face looks like.
I reckon I’ll keep ’em, though. Who knows? Maybe Monty Python will have an opening.