Fiddy Dollars

BE IT KNOWN BY THESE PRESENTS

Fitty

….that, having existed one WAGER,

BETWEEN one Ian Hersey, herein to be known as the Party of the First Part, and one Jim Puckett, hereinafter referred to as the Party of the Second Part,

THE WAGER BEING, that, from the time of the WAGER being made, forward until eternity,

THAT whichever of the parties involved that does indeed, first, MOVE, REMOVE, or CHANGE PERMANENT RESIDENCES – prior to such a move, removal, or residence change by the other party –

SHALL owe unto the other of the parties involved the sum, or total, of FIDDY DOLLARS,

WITH THE Move, Remove, or Change Residence to be defined in the following ways:

  • For the Party of the First Part, hereinafter known as the Hairless Ecto, the “move” shall be determined by an actual physical transplanting of the local, and thereby owned, HellSpawn, known forthwith as “the kitties”, to a different physical address, away from the area known as “Suburban Warbucks” of the Park of Menlo, in the State of Political Correctness
  • For the Party of the Second Part, thuswise to be referred to as “The Long Suffering”, the “removal” shall be place in temporal terms as “to spend more than half of his year residing in a single, different physical location other than Heaven on Earth, afterwards to be called in this communication “Whitefish”;

LET IT BE ACKNOWLEDGED BY ALL that, in early March of the Year of Our Lord 2019, the kitties, also to be known as the “boxpoopers”, were, and as of now, are, physically removed from the Land of Sunshine and Taxes to…to yet another Land of Sunshine and Taxes, but one some thousands of miles away from the first Land of Sunshine and Taxes

AND LET THE RECORD STATE that the Long Suffering, to be named forthwith “The Patient One” has, and as of this writing still is, resident and occupying the same plot of ground, concrete, wood and drywall as he was before the “boxpoopers”, to be later specified as the “Plane Yowlers”, were transported from Suntaxland to Suntaxland the Second –

THEREFORE BE IT RESOLVED AND NOT TO BE CONTESTED that the Hairless Ecto, subsequently pseudonymed “Beach Boy”, has, by these actions, made forfeit the WAGER,

THAT the Beach Boy OWES AND SHALL PAY

TO The Patient One

THE AMOUNT OF Fiddy Dollars ($50.00) in United States Currency

AND THAT this payment shall be made upon the next actual, present, physical contact between the parties

UNLESS either of the parties DIES, or becomes otherwise incapable or unable of making payment (in the first part) or receiving such (in the second part)

WHEREUPON such recompense shall happen between their HEIRS and ASSIGNS.

SUBSCRIBED TO AND SWORN BEFORE ME THIS FOURTEENTH OF MARCH, 2019
Notary

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