(Actually, yes, this is sorta what I looked like when Ethel met me. The 80s were a happy time…and am I the only one who thinks that the guy second from right looks like “Barry the Blade” in the John Grisham movie “The Client”?)
Living To Retire
(…to the tune of “Livin’ on a Prayer“, with apologies to Bon Jovi)
(oowa oowa oo-oo oowa
oowa oowa oo-oo oowa
oowa oowa oo-oo oowa
oowa oowa oo-oo oowa)
Jimmy used to work in the town
Now he works remote, in his robe and nightgown
It’s cool, so cool
Ethels work for WGU
She’s in pajamas, and her fleece house shoes too
Her school, her school
She says we gotta hold on to our IRAs
Our brokerage accounts, and our 401(k)s!
A few more years, and trust what I say,
We’re gone – we’re going away!
Woah, we plan and perspire –
Woah, working to retire!
Don’t tell me, you’re preaching to the choir
Woah, working to retire
(oowa oowa oo-oo oowa
oowa oowa oo-oo oowa)
Jimmy goes to work in the loft
Now he’s logging in, while his friends ski and golf
It’s rough, so rough…
Ethel dreams of old Mexico
Of sunshine and sand, and the reefs –
Jimmy whispers “I know…we’ll go…..”
We’ve got to hold on, we’re on solid ground
It doesn’t matter if the Dow is up or it’s down
We’ve got our plan and it’s safe and it’s sound
Our time – it’s coming around!
Woah, it’s muck and it’s mire –
Woah, working to retire!
All our doubts, our dreams and desires –
Woah, working to retire –
Working to retire!
Oooooo –
We’ve got to hold out for just three more years,
Then toss out our jobs for our part-time careers!
Woah, set this stuff on fire,
Woah, working to retire!
Take this job, and shove it up higher –
Woah, working to retire!
Woah, let’s find us a buyer
Woah, working to retire!
Sell this place, and go where the temp’s higher –
Woah, working to retire!
Fat Charlie's Diary 